How to Get Kids to Play Independently (So You Can Get Things Done)
Independent play is an essential skill that benefits both children and parents. It fosters creativity, problem-solving, and self-confidence while giving parents a chance to tackle tasks without constant interruptions. However, if your child struggles to play alone, don’t worry; independent play is a learned skill that can be nurtured over time. Here’s how to encourage it:
1. Start Small
Expecting a child to entertain themselves for long stretches right away may lead to frustration for both of you. Instead, ease into it by starting with just 5-10 minutes of solo play and gradually increasing the time as they become more comfortable. Celebrate their progress to build their confidence.
2. Provide Open-Ended Toys
Toys that encourage creativity and imagination hold a child’s attention longer than electronic or one-purpose toys. Items like blocks, dolls, play kitchens, cars, sensory bins, and art supplies allow children to explore and create their own play scenarios, keeping them engaged for longer periods.
3. Create a Yes Space
A “yes space” is an area where your child can explore freely without constant supervision or intervention. This means removing hazards and providing safe, age-appropriate toys and furniture. When kids feel secure in their environment, they gain the confidence to play on their own.
4. Avoid Over-Intervening
It’s natural for kids to seek your attention, but if they come running to you after just a minute, try gentle encouragement. Instead of stopping what you’re doing to engage with them, reassure them by saying, “You’re playing so well! Keep going, and I’ll check on you in a little bit.” This helps them understand that they are capable of playing independently.
5. Use Timers or Music
Setting a timer or playing background music can signal a designated independent play period. For example, let them know, “When the timer goes off, I’ll come check on you.” This provides structure and predictability, making them more comfortable with the idea of playing alone.
6. Establish a Routine
Children thrive on routine, so having a predictable daily schedule that includes independent play makes it easier for them to engage in solo activities. Whether it’s after breakfast, before nap time, or in the afternoon, creating a consistent time for independent play helps reinforce the habit.
7. Play Near Them First
Some children struggle with the idea of playing alone, so a great way to transition is by playing near them. Set up a separate activity for yourself, like folding laundry or reading, while they play. This allows them to feel secure knowing you are close by, while still engaging in their own play.
8. Rotate Toys
Too many toys can be overwhelming, leading to boredom and lack of focus. Instead of having all their toys available at once, try rotating them every few weeks. This keeps their playthings feeling fresh and exciting, encouraging more independent engagement.
9. Encourage Independent Problem-Solving
If your child encounters a challenge during play, resist the urge to immediately step in and solve it for them. Instead, ask guiding questions like, “What do you think you could try next?” or “How else could you do that?” Encouraging them to work through problems builds resilience and independence.
10. Model Independent Time
Children mimic what they see. If they notice you engaging in your own activities—whether it’s reading, cooking, or working on a hobby—they are more likely to understand the value of solo time. Show them that independent time is enjoyable and beneficial for everyone in the family.
Be Patient and Stay Consistent
Teaching kids to play independently doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience and consistency, they will get there. By providing the right environment, encouragement, and structure, you’ll help your child develop the skills to entertain themselves while giving yourself much-needed moments to focus on your own tasks.
