Surviving Motherhood with Two Young Kids (and Maybe Even Enjoying It?)

Me (Kay) with my Two Littles

Motherhood with two little ones—especially close in age—feels a lot like juggling while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. Some days, you’re in the zone. Other days, you’re just trying not to fall. If you're in the thick of raising a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old like me, you’re probably familiar with the noise, the mess, the constant mediating, and the endless snack requests. Here are some survival tips to help you navigate these exhausting but precious years.

1. Lower Your Standards (Seriously, It’s Okay)

Your house doesn’t need to be spotless. Your kids don’t need Pinterest-worthy meals. You don’t have to do elaborate crafts every day. It’s okay if your kids wear mismatched socks or if they ate peanut butter toast for breakfast and lunch. The goal is survival with a side of joy, not perfection.

2. Establish a Loose Routine

Little kids thrive on predictability, and so do exhausted moms. Having a rough schedule, like morning play, lunch, nap/quiet time, outdoor time, and bedtime, can make the day feel more manageable. But don’t stress if things don’t go perfectly. Flexibility is key.

3. Pick Your Battles

Does it really matter if your toddler insists on wearing their superhero cape to the grocery store? Probably not. But skipping nap time? That’s a battle worth fighting. Save your energy for the big stuff.

4. Divide and Conquer

If both kids are melting down at the same time, sometimes the best strategy is to separate them. One-on-one time, even if it’s just for 10 minutes, can reset the mood and prevent total chaos from continuing.

5. Embrace the Power of Independent Play

You don’t have to entertain your kids every second of the day. It’s okay (and good!) for them to play on their own. Rotate toys, set up simple activities, or just let them explore while you enjoy five minutes of coffee or that energy drink in peace.

6. Find a Mom Friend Who “Gets It”

Having another mom who understands the daily chaos of raising little ones can be a game-changer. Whether it’s a quick vent session via text or a playdate where the kids entertain each other while you sip drinks, having support makes a world of difference.

7. Get Outside Every Day

Fresh air works wonders. Whether it’s a walk around the block, a trip to the park, or just letting the kids dig in the dirt, getting outside can break up the day and reset everyone’s moods.

8. Take Small Breaks (and Don’t Feel Guilty)

Even if it’s just locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes or scrolling your phone while they watch a show, you need little breaks. A happy mom is a better mom than an angry mom.

9. Lean on Simple, No-Fail Activities

Not every day needs to be a grand adventure. Keep a mental list of easy go-to activities: Play-Doh, sticker books, water play, or even letting them play with kitchen utensils. Anything that keeps them occupied for 10 minutes is a win.

10. Remember, This Phase Won’t Last Forever

It’s chaotic, it’s exhausting, and it’s also fleeting, as everyone likes to point out to us. One day, you’ll look back and miss the tiny voices, the sticky hands, and even the bedtime battles (okay, maybe not those). For now, embrace the mess, the noise, and the beautiful madness of life with little ones.

Motherhood with a 3- and 4-year-old is a wild ride—but you’re doing better than you think. Hang in there, mama!